The Naming of Neji
by Kitty Harasser
Summary: Ever find yourself wondering about our favorite Hyuuga's colorful and unique name? Why don't you just ask his veeery proud parent? Despite his genius we find a near perfect son will never truly please his father.


**The Naming of Neji**

Disclaimer: I felt like writing this, guys. My other story is giving me a damned migrane. I like the feeling of posting stories. Oh yeah, this is the disclaimer! I don't own the damned show, although I obsess and feed off the ganstaness it emits.

-----------------------------

Hiashi and his brother sat patiently outside one of the many rooms of the Hyuuga compound. The younger of the twins had a wide smile on his lips. The other one chuckled.

"Youngest yet the first to have a child. I hope you have a daughter. That way when my wife bears a son, he'll have a pretty girl to look after." Hiashi's eyes gleamed. Suddenly, they heard loud crying coming from behind the sliding door. He gave Hizashi a pat on the back as they both stood.

"Yes, I'd really like it to be a girl, too." his grin widened. _Like_ would be an understatement. Ever since he was a young man, he had always been dead set on having a daughter. He secretly thought the men of his clan were bizarre and sorta freaky looking but the women were generally very beautiful. In truth, 98.3 of their males were either unmistakably homosexual, prissy little bitches, or possible hermaphodites. He and Hiashi had been one of the lucky ones and he was certainly _not_ taking his man-gina son to get manicures on Saturdays! Yes, a girl it was to be. Had to be. When they entered the room he saw his gorgeous wife with heavy eyes under the covers of her futon holding a tiny white bundle of sheets in her arm.

Hizashi ran over to his newborn baby and the Hyuuga woman handed said bundle to him carefully. He was overwhelmed with happiness as he examined the fragile form. It's face was definitely feminine (you must admit newborns look like wrinkly dwarfs jap people) with rosy lips and pink cheeks. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I'm going to name you Peaches Honeyblossom!" he cried out in sheer contentment.

"Er..Peaches Honeyblossom Hyuuga?" his brother and wife choked in unison.

"I love you! You are just the cutest girl in the world, aren't you?"

"Dear, a-about that..." the child's mother began.

Hizashi bounced Peaches up and down until the bundle slipped off and revealed something "cute little girls" weren't supposed to have. He stopped immediately and he looked like all the wind had been knocked out of him. The baby giggled and cooed.

"Eheh. So, honey, since Peaches isn't really an appropriate name...what should we call our new bouncing baby boy?" his wife looked very nervous, as did Hiashi. There was a long pause as Hizashi stared at the still unnamed infant's face.

"Oh, _**screw **_you!" he handed the child unceremoniously to the woman and stormed off through the door. Hiashi looked at the horrified expression on his sister-in-law's face and tried desperately to make a save.

"Ah, yes. 'Screw'! Hizashi-san wants his son to be named 'screw'... or _Neji_."

"Screw?"

"Don't you know? Screw is a...er...reference to the sacred Hyuuga technic, the Kaiten! Yeah, that's it, because Rotation does a swirly screwy movement." The clan head made little spiral motions with his fingers. Miraculously, she bought it.

"Yes, of course. I understand now. Look out world, Hyuuga Neji the one and only Screw boy is here!" she beamed. Hiashi just kept on nodding. _Oh jeezus, what the hell have I done?_

-----------------------------------------------------

I got inspiration from a show on Vh1. Turns out a celeb actually named their kid that. Then I bagan to think about Neji, as I always do, and this developed from it for some reason...heh...Neji's name means helix or screw as a possible reference to Rotation but they never specified in which sense. :)

Kudos to the man who named his friggin' baby Peaches Honeyblossom.

I hope no one's done this before or I'll be embarassed. **Review** and tell me what kind of Hyuuga Neji turned out to be. My money's on 'unmistakably homosexual'. you?


End file.
